"When asked to borrow money: "I'll see..." - Quote by W C Fields

“If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.”

“A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.”

“Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!”

“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“I'm not a serious person, and I don't like serious people.”

“I don't s'pose anybody on earth likes gingerbread better'n I do-and gets less'n I do.”

“Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”

“What really amazed me was when I sent a suit out for cleaning, forgetting that $700 was in the pocket. They sent the suit back to me. If that happened in New York, both money and suit would be gone.”

“Tis against some mens principle to pay interest, and seems against others interest to pay the principle.”