"With the possible exception of clothes, beauty..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”

“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”

“Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.”

“Every woman while she would be ready to die of shame if surprised in the act of generation, nonetheless carries her pregnancy without a trace of shame and indeed with a kind of pride. The reason is that pregnancy is in a certain sense a cancellation of the guilt incurred by coitus; thus coitus bears all the shame and disgrace of the affair, while pregnancy, which is so intimately associated with it, stays pure and innocent and is indeed to some extent sacred.”

“Every woman is wrong until she cries.”

“Miss Morland, no one can think more highly of the understanding of women than I do. In my opinion, nature has given them so much, that they never find it necessary to use more than half.”

“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”

“I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'”

“What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.”