“Budget: a way of going broke methodically”

“Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.”

“I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.”

“Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: "The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you." Firefly replies: "Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more."”

“She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.”

“A sympathy in choice.”

“I'll take the deal, whatever you want to do.”

“Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.”