"You know you're old when your family..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.”

“Hey, did somebody step on a duck?”

“Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.”

“As one grows older one must try not to work oneself to death unnecessarily. At least that's how it is with me... I can scarcely keep pace and must watch out that the creative forces do not chase me around the universe in a wallop.”

“Some people are faster than others; I'm just figuring it out later, that's all. I'm getting smart too late and old too soon.”

“Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.”

“If [Sean] doesn't see me a few days or if I'm really, really busy, and I just sort of get a glimpse of him, or if I'm feeling depressed without him even seeing me, he sort of picks up on it. And he starts getting that way. So I can no longer afford to have artistic depressions. If I start wallowing in a depression, he'll start coming down with stuff, so I'm sort of obligated to keep up. And sometimes I can't, because something will make me depressed and sure as hell he'll get a cold or trap his finger in a door or something, and so now I have sort of more reason to stay healthy or bright.”

“One of the most influential people in my life, in addition to my mother, was my grandfather P.V. Gopalan, who actually held a post in India that was like the secretary of state position in this country.”

“The pain I felt was my father's pain.”