"If it does not work the first..." - Quote by W C Fields

“Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!”

“I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.”

“I'm searching for loopholes.”

“I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion. What I'm saying is that it actually works, which is something you can say about very few other aspects of the medical establishment.”

“Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with.”

“Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.”

“There must be the... generating force of Love behind every effort destined to be successful.”

“There is no substitute for thoroughgoing, ardent, and sincere earnestness.”

“Many might go to Heaven with half the labor they go to hell.”