"The advantages of whiskey over dogs are..." - Quote by W C Fields

The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
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“Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.”
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