"Money will not buy happiness, but it..." - Quote by W C Fields

“Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)”

“Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

“A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.”

“I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.”

“... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.”

“I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.”

“The mass of the rich and the poor are differentiated by their incomes and nothing else,and the average millionaire is only the average dishwasher dressed in a new suit.”

“I have never understood why it is "greed" to want to keep the money you have earned but not greed to want to take somebody else's money.”