"The other day someone left a piece..." - Quote by Tim Vine
The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.
More by Tim Vine
“People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.”
“I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."”
“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.”
More on Pun
“So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'”
“So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."”
“I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.”