"Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself...." - Quote by W C Fields

“Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.”

“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”

“The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.”

“I maintain that, if everyone knew what others said about him, there would not be four friends in the world.”

“No matter your title, people will not follow you if they don’t trust you. Whether you are just taking over a team or working to implement large-scale change within one, you are guaranteed to run into resistance if you haven’t taken time to establish a foundation with the people you oversee before turning their worlds upside down.”

“The basis of effective government is public confidence, and that confidence is endangered when ethical standards falter or appear to falter.”

“The cautious seldom err.”

“Cautious, like crossing a river in the winter.”

“The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.”