"Last year my birthday cake looked like..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.”

“A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.”

“You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.”

“Love, whose power youth feels, is not suitable for the elderly, just as little as anything that presupposes productivity. It is rare that productivity lasts through the years.”

“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.”

“Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.”

“I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.”

“Canadian money is also called the loony. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?”

“A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.”