"I once went out with this girl,..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.”
“My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.”
“You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.”
More on Appearance
“I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."”
“My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.”
“He is also handsome," replied Elizabeth, "which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can. His character is thereby complete.”
More on Relationships
“Gratitude is like the good faith of traders: it maintains commerce, and we often pay, not because it is just to discharge our debts, but that we may more readily find people to trust us.”
“The confidence which we have in ourselves give birth to much of that, which we have in others.”
“Every woman wants to be first to someone sometime in her life and that desire is the explanation for many strange things women do.”