"I told my dentist my teeth are..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
“With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.”
“When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."”
More on Humor
“As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.”
“I could write shorter sermons but when I get started I'm too lazy to stop”
“Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.”
More on Appearance
“A lot of people have said I'd have probably done better in my career if I hadn't looked so cheap and gaudy. But I dress to be comfortable for me, and you shouldn't be blamed because you want to look pretty.”
“You undergo too strict a paradox, Striving to make an ugly deed look fair.”
“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”