“I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.”

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”

“I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.”

“To the body and mind which have been cramped by noxious work or company, nature is medicinal and restores their tone. The tradesman, the attorney comes out of the din and craft of the street and sees the sky and the woods, and is a man again. In their eternal calm, he finds himself.”

“If after every tempest come such calms, May the winds blow till they have waken'd death!”

“The great man is not convulsible or tormentable; events pass over him without much impression.”