#Chores Quotes

“Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.”

“Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.”

“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”

“Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.”

“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”

“Housework can kill you if done right.”

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”

“Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.”

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”

“I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.”

“I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.”

“normal person's weekly chore list: 1. clean kitchen. 2. clean bathroom. 3. clean entire rest of domicile. cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. don't get peanut butter on sheets.”

“Most guys believe that they're supposed to know how to fix things. This is a responsibility that guys have historically taken upon themselves to compensate for the fact that they never clean the bathroom. A guy can walk into a bathroom containing a colony of commode fungus so advanced that it is registered to vote, but the guy would never dream of cleaning it, because he has to keep himself rested in case a Mechanical Emergency breaks out.”