#Statistics Quotes

“The only statistics you can trust are those you falsified yourself.”

“I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic.”

“Do not trust any statistics you did not fake yourself.”

“I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself”

“You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.”

“One more fagot of these adamantine bandages is the new science of Statistics.”

“While statistics are interesting, they're all in the past.”

“The terrible tabulation of the French statists brings every piece of whim and humor to be reducible also to exact numerical ratios. If one man in twenty thousand, or in thirty thousand, eats shoes, or marries his grandmother, then, in every twenty thousand, or thirty thousand, is found one man who eats shoes, or marries his grandmother.”

“Most variables can show either an upward or downward trend, depending on the base year chosen.”

“Do countries with strong gun control laws have lower murder rates? Only if you cherry-pick the data.”

“Most Americans living below the official poverty line own a car or truck - and government entitlement programs seldom provide cars and trucks. Most people living below the official poverty line also have air conditioning, color television, and a microwave oven - and these too are not usually handed out by government entitlement programs.Cell phones and other electronic devices are by no means unheard of in low-income neighborhoods, where children would supposedly go hungry if there were no school-lunch programs. In reality, low-income people are overweight more often than other Americans.”

“You can always create a fraction by putting one variable upstairs and another variable downstairs, but that soes not establish any causal relationship between them, nor does the resulting quotient have any necessary relationship to anything in the real world.”

“The same set of statistics can produce opposite conclusions at different levels of aggregation.”

“Half the people you know are below average.”

“43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.”

“I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.”

“We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry each night. Well that was probably true. They were all on a diet.”

“There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians”

“Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."”

“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.”

“Figures don't lie, but liars figure.”

“There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”

“July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so”

“One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic.”

“It has been said that figures rule the world. Maybe. But I am sure that figures show us whether it is being ruled well or badly.”

“President-elect [Donald] Trump won 30 of 50 states, more counties since Ronald Reagan.”

“Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.”

“One out of every five page views in the United States is on Facebook!”

“So many figures are quoted to prove so many things. Sometimes it depends on what paper you read or what broadcast you listen in on.”

“Of all the statistics in health, death is the easiest, because you can go out and ask people, "Hey, have you had any children who died, did your siblings have any children who died?" People don't forget that.”