"You know I could rent you out..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.”

“There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.”

“If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.”

“A peevish self-willed harlotry it is. *She’s a stubborn little brat.*”

“I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.”

“I see you finally got a number to match your IQ.”

“A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.”

“The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.”

“There comes a day of public ceremonial, and a chance to make a speech.... A million voters with IQs below 60 have their ears glued to the radio. It takes four days' hard work to concoct a speech without a sensible word in it. Next a dam must be opened somewhere. Four dry Senators get drunk and make a painful scene. The Presidential automobile runs over a dog. It rains.”