"I haven't spoken to my wife in..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“I can't figure women out. They put on makeup for three hours. They wear things that make them smaller. Things that make them bigger. Then they meet a man and they want truth.”
“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.”
“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
More on Marriage
“A man’s best friend is a good wife.”
“Jack? . . . No, there is very little music in the name Jack, if any at all, indeed. It does not thrill. It produces absolutely no vibrations . . . I have known several Jacks, and they all, without exception, were more than usually plain. Besides, Jack is a notorious domesticity for John! And I pity any woman who is married to a man called John. She would probably never be allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a single moment’s solitude. The only really safe name is Ernest.”
“A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.”