"It's tough to stay married. My wife..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.”

“When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!”

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”

“Husbands and wives generally understand when opposition will be vain.”

“We have an epidemic of fatherlessness here, and that's what I agree with the president [Barack Obama] on, and we should be doing more to promote and protect marriage as between a man and a women for the needs of our children.”

“Listen, first of all, my wife is my best friend. My love for her is deeper than anything. The reality is, I'm not involved, I wasn't involved and I'm not going to be involved. Am I concerned for both of them Sure there's concern from me. I'm more worried about them than me. I'm like you guys, I'm trying to figure it all out.”

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

“One of the nice things about having a lover, it makes you think about everything anew. The rest of your life becomes a kind of movie, flat and even rather funny.”