“You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.”

“The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.”

“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

“I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.”

“Love all, trust a few, Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy Rather in power than use; and keep thy friend Under thy own life's key: be check'd for silence, But never tax'd for speech.”

“Who wooed in haste, and means to wed at leisure.”

“But Kate, dost thou understand thus much English? Canst thou love me?" Catherine: "I cannot tell." Henry: "Can any of your neighbours tell, Kate? I'll ask them.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“The poet knows that he speaks adequately, then, only when he speaks somewhat wildly.”

“... Let the cage bird and the cage bird mate and the wild bird mate in the wild.”

“A fly is as untamable as a hyena.”