“Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.”

“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.”

“Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“Age, I do abhor thee, youth, I do adore thee.”

“I had rather be a kitten and cry mew Than one of these same metre ballet-mongers.”

“I hope to see London once ere I die.”

“Travelers must be content.”

“Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,And so am come abroad to see the world.”