"I have a poor memory for names;..." - Quote by W C Fields

“If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.”

“I'm searching for loopholes.”

“Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!”

“I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.”

“Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wiseguy' opposites?”

“While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch.”

“Of what significance are the things you can forget.”

“My personal telephone book is a book of the dead now. I'm so old. Almost all of my friends have died, and I don't have the guts to take their names out of the book.”

“Within the memory of many of my townsmen the road near which my house stands resounded with the laugh and gossip of inhabitants, and the woods which border it were notched and dotted here and there with their little gardens and dwellings, though it was then much more shut in by the forest than now.”