"What a dog I got. Last night..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.”

“And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!”

“Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.”

“I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.”

“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

“Cats are too independent. They piss me off. They play when they want, and then they turn their back on you. Dogs, you throw the ball, and they bring it back, tongue hanging out, tail wagging. Cats are like "Not right now, too busy." Definitely a dog man. Except when it comes to cleaning up after them! Cats win that!”

“Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.”

“Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.”