I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
“The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .”
“It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.”
“I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.”
“"Drink with me, my dear," said Mr. Weller. "Put your lips to this here tumbler, and then I can kiss you by deputy."”
“On my tombstone it will say: 'I tried everything - nothing was easy.'”
“for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”
“When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.”
“During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.”
“If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.”