"When I was born ... the doctor..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!”

“School is a place were you go to eat your lunch”

“Man, who don't like spaghetti?”

“The train skimmed on softly, slithering, black pennants fluttering, black confetti lost on its own sick-sweet candy wind, down the hill, with the two boys pursuing, the air was so cold they ate ice cream with each breath.”

“There are videos where I would go approaching strangers and sing the songs from 'The Lion King. I would have been about four years, and I came running up to people on the beach, strangers that I chose at random and began to sing, and my family never knew where I was, they were always looking for me, trying to imagine who I was harassing this time .”

“Wisdom leads us back to childhood.”

“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”

“I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.”

“The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.”