"Fields' reply: He'd think I was a..." - Quote by W C Fields

“The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.”

“When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.”

“I never eat before breakfast.”

“What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.”

“Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.”

“I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"”

“war is a man's game ... the killing machine has a gender and it is male.”

“Only he who is man enough will release the woman in woman.”

“If it be you that stirs these daughters' heartsAgainst their father, fool me not so muchTo bear it tamely; touch me with noble anger,And let not women's weapons, water drops,Stain my man's cheeks.”