"What a dog I got, his favorite..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.”

“I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.”

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”

“We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

“Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal”

“We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”