Ugly Quotes

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

When everyone in the world sees beauty, then ugly exists.

After all, what would be "beautiful" if the contradiction had not first become conscious of itself, if the ugly had not first said to itself: "I am ugly"?.

Reckoned physiologically, everything ugly weakens and afflicts man. It recalls decay, danger, impotence; he actually suffers a loss of energy in its presence. The effect of the ugly can be measured with a dynamometer. Whenever man feels in any way depressed, he senses the proximity of something ugly. His feeling of power, his will to power, his courage, his pride - they decline with the ugly, they increase with the beautiful.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.