"Comedy is a serious business. A serious..." - Quote by W C Fields

“The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.”

“Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.”

“The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”

“Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them. A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.”

“Earlier I`ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.”

“Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.”

“No good sensible working bee listens to the advice of a bedbug on the subject of business.”

“Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.”

“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.”