“My father was a small claims court jester.”

“The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.”

“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?”

“I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".”

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'”

“Divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth.”

“You cannot call it love, for at your age the heyday in the blood is tame”

“For to define true madness,What is't but to be nothing else but mad?”