"If you can't write your own material,..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'”
“Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.”
“You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.”
More on Comedy
“Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night”
“The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”
“I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.”
More on Creativity
“Homer and Shakespeare and Milton and Marvell and Wordsworth are but the rustling of leaves and crackling of twigs in the forest, and there is not yet the sound of any bird. The Muse has never lifted up her voice to sing.”
“How often have I found that wanting to use blue, I didn't have it so I used a red instead of the blue.”
“She liked books more than anything else, and was, in fact, always inventing stories of beautiful things and telling them to herself.”