"I saw a close friend of mine..." - Quote by Steven Wright
I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it."
More by Steven Wright
More on Humor
“It's a wonderful feeling to have a niece like youBecause you are always so dearYou are so dear no matter the yearBut all throughout each day of the yearThere could hardly be a town in the South of England where youcould throw a brick without hitting the niece of a bishop.”
“It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.”
“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”
More on Friendship
“I have a lot of friends who do what I do. Either they're actresses or singers or things like that.”
“Perchance the time will come when we shall not be content to go back and forth upon a raft to some huge Homeric or Shakespearean Indiaman that lies upon the reef, but build a bark out of that wreck and others that are buried in the sands of this desolate island, and such new timber as may be required, in which to sail away to whole new worlds of light and life, where our friends are.”
“Only equals make friends, every other relationship is contrived and off balance.”