"When I was a kid, I went..." - Quote by Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
More by Steven Wright
“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
“I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".”
“I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, "Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday."”
More on Absurdity
More on Humor
“I wish Europe would let Russia annihilate Turkey a little--not much, but enough to make it difficult to find the place again without a divining-rod or a diving-bell.”
“I begin with the principle that all men are bores. Surely no one will prove himself so great a bore as to contradict me in this.”
“I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after.”