"How many people does it take to..." - Quote by Steven Wright
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
More by Steven Wright
“I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.”
“I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda”
“If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?”
More on Humor
More on Absurdity
“I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn. Then, someone cuts you off, you press the horn, and nothing happens. You're like, "Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"”
“There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.”
“I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."”