"I saw a tree fall in the..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.”

“What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.”

“I was skydiving horizontally.”

“Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”

“A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”

“I have yet to figure out whether it is I am that am crazy, or the world.”

“You're only awake when you realise you're awake and when you're dreaming, it is just as real, whatever happens is just as real - whether you actually do die in a dream or fulfil whatever you're doing in a dream, it's, there's nobody to tell me it isn't as real as this now, because how do you know?”

“Nothing remains beautiful and interesting except thought, because the thought is the life.”

“Go up in an airplane. Go high enough, and it's like we don't even exist.”