"I like to reminisce with people I..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”

“When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”

“For 24 years of my adult life, by choice I weighed well over 200 lbs. I say by choice because you see I have never accidentally eaten anything.”

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”

“Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.”

“No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.”

“The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person.”

“Eat what you like, but dress for other people.”