"I have an existential map. It has..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.”

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”

“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”

“Every time I see him, he's not there.”

“I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates!”

“Not here not there not anywhere!”

“What's the difference between beautiful and ugly?”

“Everything is alive... Everything is interconnected.”

“Learn to see - accustoming the eye to calm, to patience, to letting-things-come-to-it; learning to defer judgment, to encircle and encompass the question on all sides.”