"always remember your unique, just like everone..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“What's another word for Thesaurus?”

“A metaphor is like a simile.”

“Irony is a qualification of subjectivity.”

“I am a man of simple pleasures. The best suits me perfectly.”

“I do not cough for my own amusement.”

“I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.”

“The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.”

“If all you do is follow the herd, you'll just be stepping in poop all day”