"I got a chain letter by fax...." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.”

“Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?”

“Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?”

“I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.”

“The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.”

“In the sphere of thought, absurdity and perversity remain the masters of the world, and their dominion is suspended only for brief periods.”

“Christopher Columbus was looking for a passage to India, but he landed in America. He landed in the wrong place, and when he got back, he wasn't sure where he'd been. But most important of all, he did it on someone else's money.”

“I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?”

“To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains.”