"When I was a little kid we..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.”

“Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?”

“I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11.”

“I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.”

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

“I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.”

“I discovered [Joan of Arc] toward the age of ten or twelve, when I went to France. I don't remember where I read about her, but I recall that she immediately took on a definite importance for me. I wanted to sacrifice my life for my country. It seems like foolishness and yet...what happens when we're children is engraved forever on our lives.”

“Eternity is a child playing, playing checkers; the kingdom belongs to a child.”

“When I was 11, the whole world was closed to me. I just felt I was on the outside of the world.”