"I bought some powdered water, but I..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.”

“The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.”

“I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'”

“I don't see why a man shouldn't pay an inheritance tax. If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it's good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes that it would just be almost second nature to you.”

“It's possible that I shall make an ass of myself. But in that case one can always get out of it with a little dialectic. I have, of course, so worded my proposition as to be right either way.”

“If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations.”

“There are sneakers that cost more than an iPod.”

“When Henry Ford said, "The customer can have a car in any color as long as it's black," he was not joking.”

“Great companies are built on great products.”