"I thought I would be a guy..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.”

“So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.”

“I had my coat hangers spayed.”

“Love often leads on to ambition, but seldom does one return from ambition to love.”

“Someday the world is going to know who I am-just be hearing my first name.”

“(Talks about a school production) 'There was one solo; but it was a guy. It was this character called 'Freddy Fast Talk' and it was the bad guy. I didn't care, I was like I will dress up like a guy, I want to sing that song. And so I remembered we drew on eyebrows, and I had like a moustache,and we put all my hair up in this hat. So I dressed like a guy and sang the solo.”

“I think [ chief organizer of the Democratic Party ] it's something that I have an interest in.”

“If you get a certain amount of notoriety for doing something, and you can stick to that type of project for the rest of your life and make a decent living, I think you still have a responsibility to stretch. Flexibility is what keeps you alive.”

“There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.”