"Real life? Well, I just hope mine..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.”

“I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.”

“I invented the cordless extension cord.”

“The workman of today works every day in his life at the same tasks, and this fate is no less absurd. But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious.”

“Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"”

“There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.”

“When we free ourselves from name and form, especially from a body - when we need no body, good or bad - then only do we escape from bondage. Eternal progression is eternal bondage; annihilation of form is to be preferred. We must get free from any body, even a "god-body". God is the only real existence, there cannot be two. There is but One Soul, and I am That.”

“Am I a weed, carried this way, that way, on a tide that comes twice a day without a meaning?”

“Sincerity is the end and beginning of things; without sincerity there would be nothing.”