"It is funnier to bend things than..." - Quote by W C Fields

“It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.”

“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”

“I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.”

“Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible.”

“It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.”

“I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.”

“When I look at comedy, it's all self-expression. I apply that same method to my music. I came up listening to N.W.A and Snoop. Like them, it's in me to express how I feel. You might like it or you might not, but I take that stand.”

“There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”

“Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them. A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.”