"I saved a girl from being attacked..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.”

“My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.”

“People seldom live up to their baby pictures.”

“I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.”

“The best things in life are free, but you can keep them for the birds and bees; I want money.”

“All I want is compliance with my wishes, after reasonable discussion.”

“Balance is the perfect state of still water. Let that be our model. It remains quiet within and is not disturbed on the surface.”

“True paurusha, true bravery, consists in driving out the brute in us.”

“Under pressure, the mouth speaks when the brain is disengaged, and, sometimes unwittingly, the gearshift is in reverse when it should be in neutral.”