"I was an only child, eventually...." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.”

“I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".”

“I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.”

“I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once... so I can make a cart.”

“Cancer research is a growth industry.”

“When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.”

“The terrors of the child are quite reasonable, and add to his loveliness; for his utter ignorance and weakness, and his enchanting indignation on such a small basis of capital compel every bystander to take his part.”

“With boys I climbed trees, ran races, and wrestled. I had no complexes of envy or inferiority toward boys. At the same time, however, I liked dolls.”

“The first questions are always to be asked, and the wisest doctor is gravelled by the inquisitiveness of a child.”