When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.
“I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.”
“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".”
“Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.”
“It's just too bad we can't have an epidemic of botulism.”
“A man should have two wives: one to love and one to sew on his buttons.”
“The living is merely a type of what is dead, and a very rare type.”
“Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.”
“What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying.”
