"I had a dream that all the..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.”

“It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.”

“I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.”

“He would make a lovely corpse.”

“Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.”

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”

“Land of Heart's Desire Where beauty has no ebb, decay no flood, But joy is wisdom, time an endless song.”

“Socialists ignore the side of man that is the spirit. They can provide you shelter, fill your belly with bacon and beans, treat you when you're ill, all the things guaranteed to a prisoner or a slave. They don't understand that we also dream.”

“But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams.”