“My father was a small claims court jester.”

“The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.”

“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?”

“I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".”

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'”

“The soul of this man is his clothes.”

“Let me be that I am and seek not to alter me.”

“If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not toalter me.”