"Four years ago... no, it was yesterday...." - Quote by Steven Wright

“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.”

“Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?”

“I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".”

“Hogamus, higamous Man is polygamous Higamus, hogamous Woman monogamous.”

“I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.”

“A baboon in a forest is a matter of legitimate speculation; a baboon in a zoo is an object of public curiosity; but a baboon in your wife’s bed is a cause of the gravest concern.”

“It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.”

“Since Time is not a person we can overtake when he is gone, let us honor him with mirth and cheerfulness of heart while he is passing.”

“For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”