"My problem is that I appeal to..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.”

“It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.”

“I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.”

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

“I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.”

“I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.”

“Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.”

“It's not your job to get people to like you, it's your job to like people.”

“When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.”