"My grandfather gave me a watch. It..." - Quote by Steven Wright

“I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.”

“I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.”

“Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.”

“I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.”

“The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.”

“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”

“A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.”

“Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.”